The Wizarding World's Wonders
by Cocolion
Summary: James wants Lily. Desperately. Remus is annoyed, Sirius is annoying. And, most of all, Lily is annoyed. Her friends, also annoyed, try a special way to get James together with the apple of his eye: but these are the Marauders, and nothing goes as expected. JP/LE, SB/OC, minor RL/OC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! I just decided this will be my first long-term fic - I'll try it to be long-term, anyway *cough*. It's rated T for swearing and future crazy ideas only. **

**Have fun with it!**

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„Well", said Faye appreciatively as she looked at herself in the mirror. She flicked a long strand of dark, chocolate brown hair back. "I don't look bad."

"Quit talking about yourself, Acker", said Eliza in an annoyed sort of voice. She lay sprawled on her four-poster bed and had just decided to stay like that for the rest of the day, maybe with a nice book. "Honestly", she said before Faye could open her mouth, "just shut up. I'm trying to concentrate."

Faye raised her eyebrows. "You're not doing anything."

"Exactly", said Eliza. She clasped her hands behind her head. "And I want it to stay like that and not be distracted by murdering self-regarding seventeen-year-old girls who are a _right_ pain in the arse."

Faye rolled her eyes haughtily and turned to the mirror again. "Not my problem that you were eye-fucking Black all through yesterday, girl."

Eliza sat up very quickly and hit her head on solid, very hard wood. "Excuse me? I was certainly not. We had an argument, okay? Ow, and now my head's swimming, you prat!" She fell back into the canvas and closed her eyes. "I'm exhausted because of the Quidditch match yesterday, idiot. And, of course, because of _you_."

"Anyway", Faye said, bored, "back on topic. I think I look good."

Eliza opened one eye beadily. "You say that every day."

"Today's not every day, though, is it? It's party time."

Throwing her head back, Faye eyed herself. She wore a scandalising short, tight, low-cut mini-dress and matching high heels. Most of her hair was tied back in a thick messy bun on top of her head. Gold glittered from her ears and ankle. She was very pretty.

"Yes", said Eliza nastily. "You look downright slutty."

"Wow." Faye looked almost impressed. "You _are_ pissed off, aren't you?"

"Duh", said Eliza. "How only did you know?"

That moment was chosen by Lily Evans to rip open the door and storm into the dormitory. She gave a great "hmph!", stalked to Eliza's bed and sat down forcefully, causing Eliza to jolt an inch or two into the air and hit her head on the board.

"Christ", Eliza muttered bitterly, holding her aching hind head. "Second time today."

"I hate, hate, HATE it!" Lily said angrily, actually stomping her foot. She lay down next to Eliza. "Why is he such an _idiot_? Not _one day_ without him asking me out! Dammit", she swore, glancing at her sore foot. "But honestly, it just unnerves me. Does he have an obsession or something like that? He _never_, ever leaves me alone! Maybe I just don't _want _to go to Hogsmeade with him, meet him in a deserted classroom, cuddle in a broom cupboard, sit by the lake, or even snog him senseless? I can't cope anymore, I just – AAARGH!", she screamed. Eliza and Faye both jumped.

"Lily -"

"Don't speak to me now", Lily snapped. "I'm just trying to comprehend what a _fucking _dick he is."

"Lily Evans, swearing?" said Faye, laughing quietly. "I think apocalypse has begun."

"Shut up, Faye", said Lily and sent her a withering glare.

"Is it about Potter?" said Eliza louder, inquisitively, even though she as good as knew the answer.

"_Potter_", Lily grumbled. "Potter this, Potter that, Potter everywhere!" She snorted. "Of course it is, of course! When is it _ever _not about _him_?"

Eliza frantically searched for a change of subject, or Lily would get too worked up. And that never ended well for any involved person. "Well. Well – look – seen Mary?"

"Mary?" echoed Lily in a dude-what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about voice.

"Oh, yes, Mary, that girl who lives here with us", said Eliza sarcastically. "Yes, _Mary_!" She considered the matter. "Um. Wait ... Shit! I don't know where she is, either!" said Eliza, harassed. "I lost her! I was on my way from the library, and she was with me, and then–"

"_What_?" said Lily incredulously. "You _lost_ her? How can you _lose_ a person?"

"Eliza! Calm _down"_, said Faye exasperatedly, peering into the light brown eyes. "Lily's deranged at the moment, I don't need you to be, too. Mary is on a stroll with Davy. Her boyfriend, remember?"

Rolling her eyes, Lily grabbed a book and hid her face behind it, her mind working furiously, determined to stay out of further discussion.

"Ah, yes, about that." Faye leaned closer to Eliza (who had thankfully regained composure) and spoke quietly. "I think your best friend needs a mood upswing. Any plan?"

Eliza knit her eyebrows.

"Now you mention it", she said slowly. "I think I might have an idea."

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**Well, then. For once I'm content with my own work. Soooo - like it? Dislike it? Love it? Hate it? ! :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This chapter is for Is A Bell X3, my first reviewer eveeeer! *insert goofy laugh* Internet cookies to you, Is A Bell X3!**

**I wrote this in some night and I haven't yet found the heart to beta it. So sorry for the mistakes, if there are any!**

**On with the story!**

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"_Caught in the crossfire, warnin' fight  
Legends make or break game  
Swept up by the rolling waves of the night  
The paper chase for fame!"_

"Sirius!"_  
_  
"_I was too, too hot, baby  
Too hot to handle  
Yeah, I was too, too hot  
Too hot to handle!"_

"Sirius, I swear by god!"

_"__Wink of an eye, the feelings ran high  
A real rock and roll molest –"_

„For heaven's sake, Sirius!"

Remus Lupin was on the verge of committing suicide. And he had a reason.

The four Marauders were currently creeping throughout the Hogwarts hallways under James's Invisibility Cloak. It was common occurrence, really, but Remus was now wishing dearly he hadn't agreed to this. True, a party had never before killed him, but he was definitely starting to feel uncomfortable now, crammed against his two, _male, _friends. Especially now that one of them felt the sudden urge to crow his favourite Muggle song.

"Guys", said James frantically. "Guys! I think that was her!"

"Pro-hooongs?"

Remus closed his eyes.

"_What_, Sirius?"

"I'm bored. Let's go back."

"You brought this upon yourself!" said James indignantly.

"Did not! You forced us!"

"Oh, yeah", James remembered.

Remus wished for a stone wall to whack his head against.

"But _only_ by bribing us", Sirius went on huffily.

"Hey, that's not true!"

"Not using the Invisibility Cloak to sneak into the kitchens for two months! What do you call this?"

"A diet, maybe?" suggested Remus quietly, unable to help himself.

James waved the comments away. "You would have just used it anyway."

"Oh, yeah", Sirius remembered.

Remus wished for a stone wall to whack his head against _forcefully_.

"Sirius", he said deadly, "you told me it was under special circumstances that we were going to come early to the Hufflepuff party. Now you're telling me that it's just because James wants company at stalking Lily and you don't want to lose a possibility of fattening by the house elves. Is _that_ what you're implying?"

Sirius shrugged "Pretty much. Why didn't we bring Wormtail, anyway?", he added sulkily. "He's always fun to make fun of. Oi, guys, that was a great sentence! Fun to make f-"

"_Firstly_", said Remus, his eye twitching, "you are annoying. ALL OF YOU. _Secondly_, Sirius, Peter is not only there to be covered in fake buttocks again –"

"Christ, that was _one time_ –"

"It was _distasteful_ –"

"- and he only had to shower cold for one hour. _Moony_." Sirius shook his head disappointedly, and then proceeded to smile patronizingly, as though anyone could have made Remus's mistake.

"He thought he had grown tits" - Sirius laughed frenziedly – "and they smelled like PRUNES, alright?"

"Aaaaalright, Moony-Loony. Don't get you knickers in a twist."

"- AND THIRDLY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY FOOT!"

Sirius looked down, where his shoe covered Remus's pained foot. "Oopsie?"

"Would you care step _down_, Padfoot?"

Sirius stomped on Remus's feet like a llama. "OW! You crazed animal, _you know that's not what I meant!"_

"What? You said step down!"

Meanwhile, James was ignoring his friends, busy looking ahead for the dark red mane he'd have sworn he had seen minutes ago. At dinner, he had _coincidentally _overheard Eliza Bonnet asking Lily to come earlier to the Hufflepuffs' end-of-Christmas-holiday party. He did not yet know why, nor did he care – but he had ensured he would be there also.

Not alone, obviously.

He was beginning to regret it.

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Eliza stepped into the Hufflepuff Common Room. She had to admit it; the Hufflepuffs had already done a great job decorating: the place was dark, but brightly flash-lighted. The cosy yellow sofas had been pushed aside to make room for a big dance floor.

A few Hufflepuffs stood chattering in a huddle, one of them Remus's girlfriend Emma. She caught Eliza's eye, beamed, and hurried over to her, Lily, and Faye.

"Hey!" she said breathlessly. "Everything's planned now – how d'you find it? I was all for painting the room new, but the others thought it was bad changing the room permanently. Can't understand them, personally." A stand of dark hair fell into Emma's eyes and she blew it away, still glowing with glee. "Anyway, how 'bout you start mixing drinks, Eliza? We still need some of those and I heard Gryffindors were specialists." She winked.

Eliza grinned back. That was exactly what she'd been hoping for, and it would make everything so much easier. After Emma had been called by her mates, Lily and Faye went to start hexing the dance floor with a few Hufflepuffs' help, and Eliza, feeling very wicked indeed, set off towards the cocktail table covered with bottles and glasses. She fumbled within her robes and produced a tiny lilac vial. After checking that everyone was occupied, she screwed up the vial clumsily and added a few drops of liquid to two bottles of butterbeer. She hastily restored the vial and grabbed the bottles, smiling. She would keep them close.

The door banged open when the Marauders arrived loudly. James was laughing, Sirius was guffawing obnoxiously, and Remus chuckled lightly about some joke. "Hullo, my friends!" Sirius was shouting.

Dexter, a Hufflepuff, came over and explained the Marauders how they were able to help. Eliza got the distinct impression that the only one listening was Remus, though; apparently, Peter was in the Hospital Wing, and Sirius was winking roguishly at the nearest pair of giggling, blushing girls – James seemed to try the same with Lily, but when she noticed his glance, she pursed her lips and turned away to engage Faye in forced conversation.

By 9 o'clock, all the older Hufflepuffs, most Gryffindors and some Ravenclaws had arrived and the party was in full swing. Clutching three butterbeer bottles, Eliza pressed through the mass of dancing bodies to find Lily.

She, Faye, Mary, and Davy Gudgeon (Mary's boyfriend) stood a bit apart from the middle of attention, which consisted mostly of Marauders. Faye was gazing longingly at the dance floor.

"Hey, guys!" said Eliza. "Great party, eh? It's hot in here, isn't it? Lily! D'you want a drink? I've brought two too many." She shook the bottles. "Butterbeer."

When Lily smiled and reached out for the _wrong_ bottle, Eliza panicked and thrust one of the others into her hand. Before Lily could open her mouth, Eliza had blabbered "See you later", and bustled away into the crowd.

What harm could it be? Lily shrugged and took a swig.

One down.

Eliza saw James, not in the middle of mayhem as usual, but in a corner, watching Lily. She plastered a good-natured grin onto her face and walked towards him.

"Hey, Potter."

"Eliza." James looked up and smiled. "How-"

"Want a butterbeer?"

She could have slapped herself.

"Wh- what?"

"Do you want a butterbeer?" Eliza said very clearly. "Look, I've got one in reserve."

"Sure", he said. "Thanks. Wanna get rid of it, hm?"

Eliza, wondering how insuspicious people were of her nowadays, passed the bottle to James, anicipating.

He sat the bottle to his lips, when hands clasped him from behind and Sirius bellowed "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", into his ear. Eliza watched, horrified, as Sirius took the bottle from James, licked his lips and drank.

Eliza's mouth fell open and she stumbled back into the dancing people, when somebody dragged her away.

It was Faye.

"What did you do in it?" she said greedily, when Eliza was halfway steady.

"Does this anticipation for Lily's pain makes us bad friends?" Eliza said drily.

"Nah", said Faye impassively. "So, what was it?"

"Self-brewed Brain Elixir", said Eliza proudly.

"But you're rubbish at potions."

"Well", said Eliza in a drawn-out way, "doesn't matter now, does it? Sirius drank it. I wanted it to boost James's and Lily's brain power, so James stops behaving like a fool, and Lily overcomes her denial."

"Great plan."

"Yeah, well."

The evening wasn't much fun after this. Eliza was in a gloomy mood when she went to bed in Gryffindor tower way past midnight, only to be awakened fully by a long, piercing scream:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

It was Sirius Black's voice.

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**A/N: The idea I'm gonna use is quite popular already ... Review nevertheless? Please? :)**

**- Coco**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: That's right, I'm still alive. Sorry for the long wait, but school's kept me busy. Anyway, here's the second chapter! Hope you like.**

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Lily Evans was having a rotten day.

Not only had she been asked out by James Potter (_again!_), not only had she got an E for this day's potion work (Potter's fault, naturally), not only had she missed lunch _and_ dinner, no, now she also had to go to a stupid _party_.

She normally wouldn't have gone: she knew perfectly well how to entertain herself, thank you very much. But she was abysmally hungry, having eaten so little today, and the Hufflepuffs usually provided a large collection of food. So when Eliza brought up the subject, Lily agreed whole-heartedly.

An hour later, Lily's mood was even more rotten than her day.

It had done absolutely no good that she'd come early. There wasn't much food. James Potter and the Marauders were there. And now, to top it all, Eliza was missing. Great.

Lily stood in a corner, trying to block out the horrible music. Faye was beside her, looking bored. Mary was holding hands with Davy, and Lily would've liked to die.

_If she hasn't come in ten minutes, I'll _so_ leave, _she told herself grumpily. Just then, a mane of curly, wheaten blonde hair became visible behind a dancing couple, and in the next second Eliza stood before Lily, panting.

"Hey, guys!" she said brightly, ignoring Lily's accusing stare. "Great party, eh? It's hot in here, isn't it? Lily! Do you want a drink? I've brought two too many." She gave her hand a shake, where, indeed, three bottles, containing golden liquid, sat. "Butterbeer."

Lily smiled gratefully. If there wasn't any good food, at least she could savour butterbeer. Her stomach grumbled. She reached out, but suddenly, got a different bottle thrust into her hand. When she opened her mouth bewilderedly, Eliza had already disappeared.

_Troubled kid_, Lily thought devilishly. She raised an eyebrow towards the bottle, then shrugged and drank. After the usual warmth shot through her, her stomach started twitching uneasily. She wasn't going to be sick, was she?

Rotten day.

She wasn't, though. After the pretty eventless day, she went back to Gryffindor Tower accompanied by a lovesick Mary, a brooding Faye, and an equally grumpy Eliza. Once in the dorm again, she plummeted into her bed and closed her eyes. Her stomach was still aching.

Five minutes later, she shot up again. There was hair that fell into her eyes. Lily was sure that it hadn't been there previously. She looked at it. As far as she could tell, the hairs were dark. Definitely darker than auburn.

She also noticed that she seemed to be heavier. She hadn't eaten almost all day! She raised a hand in front of her face and almost screeched. It was broader, bigger than usual. The fitting arm was long and toned.

Lily stood up quietly and tip-toed to the mirror. When she saw her reflection, she could no longer withhold the scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

A horrified, handsome, grey-eyed face, surrounded by shiny black hair, stared back at her.

* * *

Eliza got up routinely, grabbed Lily and manoeuvred her out of the room, bellowing: "Nothing happened! Everything alright! You can go back to sleep!" to Faye, Mary and the others.

When she was outside, she leaned against the door. "What d'you think you're doing, Lily? What's happened, and -?" She looked up. "_Holy shit!"_

She found herself staring at a familiar face. "What are _you_ doing here? Where's Lily? What have you _done_ to her?"

Lily sobbed. "I am Lily! I am."

"Yeah, right", said Eliza sarcastically, evidently not believing her. "Get out of here, moron! NOW!"

"No, no, no, no, no!" Lily grabbed Eliza, who looked revolted. "Look, I can prove it! Okay. My favourite colour is green, because I loved to play in the grass when I was little. I have a secret phobia against big flowers that dangle from the air. My favourite book is The Importance of Being Ernest. I'm scared of heights. I don't like fish, you watched me puke once after I ate it. We didn't like each other back then. I'm easily frustrated, or irritated. I hate to fail. I like watching the stars, because they're amazing. I was the first one to realise that Sirius was named after the brightest star in the sky. I always hope to see a shooting star. I would wish for world peace, strawberries, or a brainwash for my sister/Snape. I'm allergic to nuts, which is why I like to say 'You're nuts' to the Marauders, because I'm allergic to their immaturity, see?"

Lily exhaled deeply.

"Wow", said Eliza, dumbstruck. "It _is_ you!"

"Yeah", Lily said worriedly. "But what happened to my body? I'm not me! I'm definitely not in my body, and it feels _awful!_ Oh my God, I'm close to hyperventilating!" Lily pressed a hand to her forehead to prevent her head from spinning. "This is not normal, Eliza!"

Eliza was lost for words. She looked at what used to be Lily. She remembered last night. She remembered the "butterbeer". She remembered Faye's words: "_You're a fail at potions."_ She remembered Sirius nicking James's drink, gulping it down ...

Faye was right. The potion hadn't exceeded their brain power. But it hadn't been workless, either. It had done something completely different.

Eliza gulped. She had made Lily Evans switch bodies with Sirius Black.

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**Review, pretty please? :)**

**- Coco**


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